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We Will We Will Marry You! – Courtesy of Hindu Mahasabha

Recently I came across a word which personally makes me laugh every time I see it. The word was “Democracy”.

During your school years you were taught from your books that Democracy is “By the people, of the people, for the people”. But today when I see things around me, I realize that everything in our lives comes with a “Terms and conditions applied”. Same is the case with democracy apparently. This T&C version of democracy apparently applies to everything, right from the movies you watch, the Internet content you see, the girl you are to get married to, the toothpaste you use, toothpaste the girl who you are to get married to should use,….u get my point.

Today is the 14th of February which is celebrated as the “Wallet weight reduction day” or as many people call it “Valentine’s Day”. Fifty Shades of Grey must have been out which explains the rush at Esquare. AIB Knockout fever has come and gone. Which made me wonder…..itna sannata kyu hai bhai?

So I googled to find out where have all the “morally sane” and “sanskaari” people gone out to? And google told me “Watch out! They are trying to get you married!”.

The Hindu Mahasabha group in UP, a self-elected group who self-elected themselves to be the self-elected representatives of every Hindu citizen in India, has taken the responsibility on themselves to basically enact a short and direct version of every hindi movie they might have watched till date where two lovers get married in the end. So they basically just skip to the end…minus the drama and villains.

This is what a member of the Hindutva group said (with his mouth full of gutka) “If whe shee anybhudy taking rojh (rose) to girl… or taking girl to rojh… or taking girl anybhere ..(spits)… whe will marry dhem.” Why? Coz it is against our Indian culture and Valentines day is a thing of the west. If this was to be taken seriously and every thing we have acquired from the west is to be boycotted…then soon we’ll have to say goodbye to English language itself.

Another hindu group who were pretty active with making people “morally right” last year during valentines day were asked to comment as to why they aren’t active this year. Here was the comment “No, actually we are little busy with our party preparations of 15th February, so basically we found something to keep us busy”.

The Hindu group also said that they will be monitoring social media for anything that says “Love” and “I” and “You” in the same statement. If they find any such activities even on social media, they will go full Liam Neeson on them.

Liam-Neeson-I-will-Find-You-and-Get-you-Married-Taken
The Police authorities have said that any one practicing moral policing on that day will have to face consequences. (some relief…i guess)

This situation has it’s positives and negatives too actually. Let me explain.

Positives

  • Both couples will find out if they are really that serious about their relationship (Probability : 0.2%)
  • Couples who are really that serious about their relationship and are afraid to confront their parents about it can happily have an all expense paid marriage.

Negatives

  • The End of casual relationships.
  • End of relationships in schools, coz it’s gonna be pretty sad to get married off when all your life all you have been worrying about is Pokemon and Ben10.
  • Do not take your dogs out for a walk. You never know.
  • The End of “Democracy”.
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Kunal Roy

Co-Founder at Campus Times Pune
One of the founding members of Campus Times Pune. Passionate about photography. A big fan of stand up comedy and anything that doesn't involve Sajid Khan or Honey Singh. He has a new found love for cutting chai and also some John Mayer music. In his free time, he likes to goof around with a little bit of web designing and watch Arnub Goswami debate with himself.
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